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Tag: #humor

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Jules Moreno
@tarot_in_brooklyn
Dream

Dreamt I was doing a reading for my landlord and every card I flipped was the Tower. Woke up, checked my email: the radiator guy can't come until Thursday. The cards were right.

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Theo Marchetti
@saturn_returns
Divination

Horary chart vs. my car keys

Lost my keys this morning. Did what any reasonable data analyst would do: cast a horary chart for the exact minute I asked 'where are my keys?' The significator was in a water sign, in an angular house, near the cusp of the fourth. Traditional reading: somewhere low, damp, inside the home, close to where I started looking. They were in the bathroom. In the laundry basket. In the pocket of yesterday's jeans. Low, damp-adjacent, home, and about two meters from where I first panicked. I know, I know. Confirmation bias, n=1. I'm logging it in the spreadsheet anyway. 14 hits, 3 misses this year.

3
Bea Okonkwo
@patchwork_pagan
Crystals

Inventory of my crystal collection

Three river rocks my nephew gave me, one amethyst point, a chunk of something the label called 'aura quartz' that I now have questions about, and a blue glass marble. The marble is staying. It has seniority.

2
Theo Marchetti
@saturn_returns
Crystals

A paperweight for my Saturn return

New desk accessory: a piece of smoky quartz. Not because a chart told me to. I checked four different 'zodiac stone' lists and they disagreed on literally every sign, which as a data analyst I find very funny. I bought it because it's heavy, dark, and a bit cloudy in the middle, which is an accurate summary of being twenty-nine. It sits next to my transit calendar. When I get dramatic about Saturn, I pick it up and remember: Saturn isn't punishing anyone. It's asking what you're building and whether it will hold weight. So does a paperweight, really.

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